Want a powerful and compact Android phone? Tough luck.

I was talking to my friend and ex-colleague Frazier today about the Galaxy Note when he said something that I found both sad and interesting. He told me about how he cannot upgrade from his HTC Desire to a new powerful Android smartphone because all of them were gigantic. 

This made me think: what does a person who wants a powerful Android smartphone, but one that isn’t too big, buy? The answer was surprisingly ‘nothing’. There is not a single high-end Android phone out there that isn’t the size of a fucking skateboard. Think about all the high-end Android phone out there right now. Galaxy S II, Galaxy Nexus, RAZR, Sensation XE/XL/XXL/XV/ABC/WTF/BBQ, etc. They are all massive. And then there is King Kong himself, the Galaxy Note. A ‘phone’ so big you need the wicket keeper’s gloves just to hold it. 

Why aren’t Android manufacturers making high-end smartphone for people with normal hands? What is a person who wants a dual-core Android smartphone but one with a display that is less than 4-inches supposed to buy? Does a dual-core phone have to be double the size of a single-core phone? 

And then people wonder why the iPhone sells so much. It’s the only dual-core smartphone out there that does not require two people to carry it around. Apple could have snuck in one of their Cinema Displays into the iPhone if they wanted to and people would have still bought it. But they stuck with that display size for so long and that’s because it makes sense. Meanwhile, everyone else is making massive phones to compensate for the size of their tiny dicks. 

Wasn’t the whole point of buying an Android phone to get freedom of choosing whatever you want? The only choice here that I see for a high-end Android smartphone buyer is choosing a phone that is ridiculously large or a phone that is ridiculously large. Most people then just go with the one that is ridiculously large. 


The Man Who Laughed At The iPhone

The idea that Apple might get into the TV business is apparently making Samsung laugh. This reminds me of an incident that happened a while ago. There was a man called Steve Ballmer, who once laughed at the iPhone.

Here he is, producing the aforementioned laughter from his smug face. 

You know what happened to that man? He got his ass handed to him by Apple. Not only did his precious Windows Mobile fail, even the new Windows Phone is having a hard time. All this from a company that not just Ballmer but many other believed couldn’t succeed in this segment. 

And now we have Samsung laughing at the yet to be announced Apple TV. This is the same Samsung, by the way, that is getting its ass torched in almost every field Apple operates in, including smartphones, tablets, MP3 players and notebooks. 

I’m going to file this under my own claim chowder folder. Couple of years down the line, we’ll see who’s laughing. 


The iPad 3 conundrum

When I first sat down to write this post, it was supposed to be a list of things I thought the iPad 3 was going to have. I was going through all the different things such as the name, size, processor, etc. But then I reached a couple of points and I was having a hard time deciding whether or not they will be in the iPad 3. Those two things are the Retina display and LTE. 

In the first version I had actually written that the iPad 3 won’t have a Retina display and that it won’t be possible for it to run it, particularly in 3D games, even with the updated quad-core processor and if it did the battery life would be shitty. But then I realized that if Apple puts in the display from the current iPad 2, what would be the point of the quad-core processor? Wouldn’t it be wasted running the same device with the same screen with all that power? And the iPad 2 is already pretty powerful so it’s not in any real need for any more power. So if Apple was putting in a more powerful processor there was bound to be a higher resolution display to make use of it. 

And I’m fairly certain there will be a more powerful processor. That’s one thing that Apple almost always updates. The only time I remember Apple didn’t upgrade the processor on its iOS device was with the iPhone 3G and the latest iPod touch. 

Also, if there are concerns of increased battery consumption then there are rumors that the iPad 3 will have a larger battery, indicated by its thicker shell. Not to mention the fact that the new A6 will be more efficient that the A5. So I go back on my previous, unpublished prediction that the iPad 3 won’t have a Retina display, even though I’m struggling with the idea of a mobile processor running a display of that resolution. 

But what about LTE? In my previous post I wrote that LTE will be present in the iPad 3 and it made sense given that all three of Apple’s carrier partners now have LTE networks. But will Apple be able to run a high resolution display, a processor powerful enough to run it and an LTE radio, even with the bigger battery? I don’t see how. 

LTE is an extremely power hungry feature. Smartphones with LTE struggle to last even half a day. Tablets are a bit better off, but those tablets don’t have a power hungry display and processor to leech off the battery. 

Apple already has a major feature on its hands. The Retina display alone will be able to sell the iPad 3. (Heck, they can probably run the iPad 2 for another year and still have people lining up for it.) On top of that they will also be adding Siri, higher resolution rear camera for 1080p video, higher resolution front camera for FaceTime HD. They don’t need LTE to further distinguish it from the iPad 2, which by the way, will also be sold along side as an 8GB model for $399 and $529 (3G). 

So that’s basically my prediction for the iPad 3. Faster processor, bigger battery, Retina display (still not completely sure about this), Siri, new cameras, no LTE and an identical design to the iPad 2, which will be sold at a lower price. Let’s see how much of that turns out to be true. 


Top Gear isn’t funny anymore

People watch Top Gear for two things, the cars and the humor. All automobile shows have cars in them. That’s expected of them. But Top Gear was the first to mix in a large dose of humor into the mixture, which is what makes the show so popular, even among those who usually aren’t much interested in cars. 

But the humor is fading, the gags are getting tired and the jokes aren’t funny any more. 

I personally am a huge car buff so I mainly watch the show for the road tests. The features are something I have always been less fond of but it was still something I could sit through. But in the latest episode, the feature where Clarkson and Hammond help a TV show film the stunt scenes, was cringeworthy. Throughout the whole thing I was just waiting for it to get over. Even the road test in that episode wasn’t particularly good, which is not surprising with Captain Slow at the wheel. The only redeeming aspect of the show was the Star In A Reasonable Price Car segment, with Ryan Reynolds as the guest, who was delightfully hilarious and somewhat made up for what the rest of the show lacked. 

But it’s not just this episode. The show has been going down in terms of the number of laughs per minute for quite a while now. Earlier I was a too much of a fan to see it but now it has become hard to ignore. The jokes aren’t funny and it is the same stuff that they have been doing for years. The scripted sequences are now far less believable than they used to be and even the studio banter lacks the old charm. The humor is now too forced and I’m surprised they haven’t added a laughter track, yet. 

I think it would be nice to bring the focus back to the cars, like in the first episode of the current season (18). Episodes like that are the reason why I watch the show because they show exotic cars driven to their limits on some terrific roads, something we don’t get to see often. That’s what I think Top Gear should be about. Not three old men talking about each other’s penis. 


Infinite Misanthropy: Hippies, I am sick of your bitching

Link: Infinite Misanthropy: Hippies, I am sick of your bitching


I spent weeks last year, and the year before that, being inundated by morons claiming that Apple’s products were assembled by legions of Chinese children. None of these mouthbreathers bothered to actually read Apple’s annual Supplier Responsibility Report; instead, they just parroted whatever…